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23 November 2007 @ 06:54 pm
and life barrells on like a run away train  
Here I am!

I'm babysitting my mums dog this week while she's in Essex and I feel bad but I wish wasn't because I'm used to doing what I want and not worrying about how long Muffin will be alone.

I've been working all week, I feel like I'm exhausted from work cuz I've been trying to get lots of shifts so I have extra money but really I haven't actually done that much overtime, I've been working most days but sometimes only for a few hours.

Paul had a gig Wednesday which went ok but they need some practice as they have another gig tomorrow night which is a bigger event (and not the size of my kitcen). I cried tonight because I knew I wouldn't see Paul as he needs to practice and I am working tomorrow till 8 so I wouldn't really be able to see Pauls band as they are playing at a venue which is running 10pm til 4am and they don't know their time slot and they will be there early to set up and I can't leave Muffin for that long. I completely overreated by crying and I'm trying to work on that but on the plus side I asked my dad for a lift into Northampton tomorrow about 10pm so when I get in I can make a fuss of the dog and take him out and then really I will only be out a few hours so it should be ok :)

The Doctor thinks the Progestgion in the Implant is having a bit of a bad effect on me cuz I keep crying and I'm a bit spotty but she doesn't want to take it out as it's still adjusting so they've put me on the pill (which is a bit silly as I also can't take synthetic eostrogen cuz I get the side effects). Today when I took my pill I accidentally held it the wrong way up meaning I took the last pill in the pack instead of te next one which isn't a big deal just means I might confuse myself later in the week but hopefully I won't overdose on it.

After a lot of thinking and Kate persuading me I thought I might get rid of the black hair but wasn't sure what I should do as I don't want to grow it out cuz that always looks a bit shit. Two of my friends (who aren't hairdressers) have bleached the black out and had it look ok and not burn away so I thought about that but wasn't sure if I wanted to be orange for a while but then Aimi at works friend who owns a salon in town said she could colour strip it for me so I thought I could do that and then maybe have it nice and blonde or something. So I was just adjusting to the idea of changing my hair colour and then someone came in the gym and fucking complimented me on my hair!!! She said it was such a nice colour and cut and was in very good condition. :( so now I don't know what I want.

Today two delivery men at work said I was very pretty and they said it nicely and not in a sleazy way, and other people say it to and that woman who said my hair looked nice and it makes me think if they can see it why can't I? Everytime I look in the mirror I see something wrong with myself, I'm not just saying that or being melodramatic, I just mean I look in the mirror and my hair will look shit and make my face look fat or my make up has all worn off so I look a funny colour or I have dry patches on my face or I look fat etc and I can never seem to look in te mirror and think "I look really good today". But that is also something I'm trying to work on, I've decided I have particually nice breasts so I'm trying to find something else to like. On Wednesday when Paul had his gig I wore a top that gives me good clevage to show off my nice boobs but unfortunatly it was too cold to take my jumper off.

I think tonight I will have a shower and a rest then tomorrow I might try and sleep in a bit before work so I can stay up late tomorrow for the gig. Then Sunday I am off work which will be nice, I'd like to get up early as I'm working an early shift on Monday and I don't want to get next to no sleep on sunday night but that's very unlikely if I'm out all night Saturday. We will have to see.

Today in Tesco I saw a girl I went to primary school and high school with, she was always nice to me but much more Loras friend than mine as I wasn't very cool but she had a chat with me in the queue which was nice and she showed me her baby.

rocknrollpixie would you like to come and stay?

Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: Mr Jones part 2 - Ben Folds
c l e o d o r acleodora on November 23rd, 2007 10:13 pm (UTC)
Ooh maybe Nicky can come and stay with you at the same time as Jo is staying with me and then we can all be together!
Lady Jwolfylady on November 24th, 2007 08:56 pm (UTC)
I hope the doctor sorts out the problems with your implant as it sounds nasty. I like the pictures that I've seen out your hair and I think you're one of the prettiest people that I know so you shouldn't be worried about that!